Overheard Circa 1988, Old Chemistry Bldg,:
*Prof. Richardson (Idiot egghead, computer fascinated, small penised, friendless Dept. Head: "C'mon John, technology has done some good things".
*Prof McEvoy (really cool devout Marxist from working class London): " Name three."
Following from the above, I find myself intrigued by the relentless overtaking of society by the cell phone....err....rather smart phone as it is now called and its accompanying infection of human beings of all socio -economic backgrounds, ethnicities, IQ's and age demographics. Everybody has one. Some have 2. Gadgets? OK. A necessity? FUCK NO. What for? Why?
The only decent argument I can see is for safety. It can be comforting to know that if your car breaks down there is a lifeline to someone. This may work for your self, your wife, your kids etc. and we can all feel better knowing we are not trapped and vulnerable and forced to rely on .....ah, ourselves and/or others to get us out of this mess. Apparently society is far too dangerous to just flag down a passing motorist, walk a mile to a nearby public establishment or house and ask for assistance. God forbid, if someone pulls over and offers help. That is the first clue they are a maniacal mass murderer/thief/ rapist. So I suppose you make the call locked in your car. Well, given this example, you really don't need a cell phone, you need a fucking gun. Fuck Verizon...Viva Smith and Wesson. Argument 1 dismissed. The only personal safety device that is failsafe is your common sense. And that is not 59.99 a month... but I do encourage the unlimited use of it.
So what of the reason why? They must be powerful ones as the phone goes everywhere with you, probably to more places than your significant others and kids. You're never without it. Why? Someone may be trying to reach you? Like who? A dying relative? Well then what the fuck are you out at Target shopping for? You should be there...actually.... WITH THEM.
Are you really that important and/or popular? Probably not. So does that make this some subconsciuos narcissistic thang going on? I don't know. All I know is alot of the times I don't answer my home phone cause I don't know who is calling now that I gave up the bundle pack ( caller ID, call forwarding and other innane "features"). And here is the crux of my view::::
It's OK to NOT be available!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enjoy your unavailablity....Drive the car around with your favorite music and not worry about being interrupted while you are alone. Go somewhere and be cut off from your normal life people bugging you . Didn't that used to be the beauty of a vacation? Vaca --- verb --Latin --to go away.
You were really gone. And, man, didn't that make coming back all that much better?
Now, we never get to enjoy the feeling of saying an emotionally laden "Hello, I missed you".
If there is a trend towards fucked up interpersonal and relationship skills in HELLO AMERICA I put some of the blame on the cellies. People are rarely with people anymore. I mean even when you are out one on one or with a group that damn phone is there too. I want to really be IN THE PERSON. (Figuratively for most- but literally as well in a few cases and you know who you are.)
I AM INTO YOU and want to be with you and will give you the respect and attention you deserve and that I demand by leaving that fucking phone in your car. You can check it in a few hours. You'll have a text that says " The baby is pooping again. When will you be home?" or a voice mail from somebody saying he was just calling to catch up cuz its been a long time ---which really translated means --- really I'm too busy and don't think enough of you personally or our friendship to do more than call about every 2 months asshole. Riveting stuff....
PICTURE LEGEND: 1 moment in time, 5 hotties, 3 visible cell phones....
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